“A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soul mate, the one you can tell your dreams to. He’ll smile at you, but he’ll never laugh at your heart. He’ll brush the hair out of your eyes. Send you flowers when you least expect it. He’ll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid $8 to see it. He’ll call to say goodnight or just cause he is thinking of you. He’ll look in your eyes and tell you, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world, and for the first time in your life, you’ll believe it.”—Unknown
“I know you don’t think of me. And you certainly would never picture us together, but probably peanut butter was just peanut butter before someone ever thought of pairing it up with jelly. And there was salt, but it started to taste better when there was pepper. And what’s the point of butter without bread? Anyway, by myself, I’m nothing special. But with you, I think I could be.”—Unknown
So let’s say that theoretically I really like you. And theoretically, even though it sounds moronically cliché and overused, you give me butterflies. And just for kicks, let’s add that, all in theory of course, you may be the one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. And hypothetically, my heart beats ten times faster when I see you. Do you think that you would supposedly, and in the most theoretical sense… feel the same?
Is He the One? 10 Signs to Tell If He's Mr. Right:
1. Your friends approve- You’ll know he’s the right guy for you if your friends feel the same way. If your man hasn’t earned your friends’ stamp of approval, he might as well be waving a big red flag.
2. He gets along with your family- Introducing someone to your family can be awkward and tense— we can thank Ben Stiller for his excellent portrayal of all the worst-case scenarios. However, if he does mesh with the fam and becomes an instant member of your Dad’s “circle of trust,” then you’ll know he’s a keeper.
3. He listens to you- Communication is the foundation to any good relationship. If you’re trying to build a life with a guy who doesn’t think that what you have to say is important, your relationship will inevitably come crashing down. You need a man who truly listens to you.
4. You share the same values- You may say “tomay-to” while he says “tomah-to,” but there is no need to call the whole thing off. Just be certain that you both agree on what matters most in life. Finding a man who shares your ideals will make for a smooth ride. 5. He’s the type of person you would be friends with- You should have the same standards in your love life as you do socially. If you’re dating a guy who you would never be friends with, you might not be a good fit long-term.
6. You trust him- Without trust, your relationship is doomed to fail. If you can honestly say that you trust your man, you may have just found Mr. Right.
7. He makes you feel special- We all know that new-relationship high a little too well, but those feelings tend to dwindle as the days and months progress. If your man is still able to give you butterflies well into the relationship, then you’ve hit the jackpot.
8. He talks about the future- In your search for Mr. Right, you have to remember that he is also looking for a Mrs. Right. If your significant other verbalizes his thoughts on your future together, then it’s likely that he’s also considering you to be that special someone.
9. You feel secure- A man who is financially unfit may not be a good life partner. If your significant other can’t even take care of himself, how will he be able to take care of others? While we don’t recommend gold digging your way to your next boyfriend, we do think it’s important to feel secure in your relationship and in your financial future together.
10. He loves you for you- Surprisingly, this part has to come from you, not him. If you aren’t being true to yourself in a relationship, then he isn’t falling for the real you. Although we all want to be seen as perfect, the facade will eventually crumble. Be yourself and if he still loves you, you know he’s here to stay.
“All my life I’ve felt like there was some part of me missing and I felt that everyone could tell. Like there was some hole in me and everyone could see through it, like I wasn’t finished or something.”—Boy Meets World
1. Why can’t we be friends? This sounds nice but in reality an ex does not make a true friend, especially immediately after the breakup.
2. I must have closure. Closure can be difficult to obtain no matter how many conversations one has. The best closure can come from resisting the urge for dialogue and moving on.
3. I just need to make sense of it all, and I just have one more thing to say before you go. Another version of closure and another reason to stay in contact when in reality this just gives your ex another opportunity to hurt you. Not fun.
4. I want to be available for reconciliation. Wanting to get back together is a fair feeling to have. Even if you do end up reconciling, the relationship will undoubtedly be different. It is still important to take some time without speaking in order to mourn the relationship and contemplate how you really feel.
5. I just need to give his stuff back. Do it quickly, in the first couple days. After that, use one of our many mail services.
6. I’m just so horny. And your ex is familiar because you know him or her (and it won’t increase your “number”). But again, this is just prolonging the inevitable and will keep you stuck in the past. Time to cut off the ex and find someone new (or maybe even just yourself) to get jiggy with.
7. We run in the same circles. If this is the case, you won’t be able to help running into your ex, but that does not mean you need to get in touch afterward. Keep your conversations polite, brief and away from anything that can bring up negative feelings from the past. Obviously easier said than done.
So while our natural reaction to a breakup may be to keep in touch, whatever the reason, in order to successfully move on, the No Contact rule is a good place to start. No matter how much we want to rationalize, the sooner we stop talking to our ex, the faster we’ll move on. [Via]
Celebs with places to go and an unapologetic urge to stand out have long reached for the flashy cocktail dress. You can too—choose one of the latest gleaming silver styles or any shade that flatters your skin tone. (FYI: A hint of pink looks good on almost everyone.) Just remember to keep the legs bare-ish and the shoes low-key to avoid OD’ing on glitz.
The Pencil Skirt
Sure, it’s your ever-faithful work go-to, but the pencil skirt is also one of the female bod’s BFFs. It traces the hips, hugs the booty and creates an hourglass waist—need we say more? Go knee-length for a classic feeling or shorter if you’re really feeling va-va-voom.
Especially in their highest heel form, they’re total man magnets thanks to their hot scarlet hue (seriously, everything called scarlet is hot—think Johansson and the sexiest color known to woman and man). Red heels take confidence to pull off, but there’s payoff in all the compliments you’ll get. One catch: Mix them with a non-red something unless you’re prepared to take on the monochromatic trend.
Were big sunnies actually invented to keep out the UV rays or to help celebs be a little more incognito? Either way, they lend a major dose of Hollywood star power to any gal who gets behind a pair—the bigger the better. And, yes, it’s OK even if your personal paparazzi and entourage consist of one best friend, combined. It’s quality not quantity, right?
To each her own little black dress! Whether your little black dress is sleek and minimal or has tons of detailing everywhere, there’s no denying it’s a key object in every woman’s closet. Dress it up with your strappy sandals, or dress it down with a cozy cardi. No matter where you’re going, you’ve got a fail-proof recipe for 365-days-a-year-chic.
The Trench Coat
Once a military uniform, now a staple for card-carrying fashionistas everywhere; if you don’t already have a great-looking trench, it’s worth splurging on the right coat. Our reasoning: Nobody’s looking at what’s underneath when you’ve got a perfect-fit, polished trench.
Long Silk Scarf
Grace Kelly and her old-Hollywood pals made tossing a scarf over one shoulder look as cool as the icy diamonds they had dangling from ears and wrists. Today, the cool kids like Sienna Miller are pulling out retro-feeling silk scarves, and it looks just as good as it did the first time around.
Yes, they’re denim, but in no way do skinny jeans fall into the schlumpy-weekend-clothing category. In super-dark washes and narrow cuts, they’re totally dress-code-appropriate, day or night. Bonus: They make a great after-eight alternative to black pants or a skirt.
You don’t need tons of money to find fancy-looking chandelier earrings to add the finishing touch of glitz to whatever you’re wearing tonight. As with sunglasses, go as supersize and attention-grabbing as you feel comfortable with.
A Cocktail Ring
Even if it’s 100 percent fake (or “faux” if you want to adopt an equally glamorous Frenchy accent), a little light-catching bling makes a big statement. Word to the wise: If you’re going to wear a gobstopper-size cocktail ring, make sure your mani is up to snuff since everyone will be jealously eyeing your well-accessorized fingers. [Via]
Here’s the standard line on men: We’re simple, straightforward, limited—and usually perfectly happy to leave it there. Why? Because it keeps your expectations of us low. But here’s the single biggest thing women don’t get about men: Masculinity is a complicated performance we agree to in order to be seen as men. Unfortunately, that performance is more designed to conceal than reveal us. For instance, it’s easier and more “masculine” for us to talk about the great sex we had rather than describe the great conversation afterward. So, a woman ends up knowing the male script, but not the man. Breaking character, then, I give you (in random order) 10 things he wishes you knew about him.
1. Even Men Like Compliments Every Once in a While Real guys, or so the story goes, don’t need praise. Especially not about girlish things, like if those jeans show off our assets. But the truth is, men enjoy a little well-intentioned objectification. A squeeze of the biceps and a lingering stare when we reach for the top shelf—these remind us of what attracted you to us and appeal to our Darwinian sense of selectivity (i.e., what keeps you choosing us over the other monkeys). It also makes it OK, even desirable, to send a little objectification your way, too. And just to be clear, the praise doesn’t need to be physical. In fact, it’s important that women commend those things masculinity tends to belittle, like if we’re good cooks or get passionate about foreign films. Tell us, too, when we’ve been a good father, a caring son or a helpful husband. Watch how much faster the toilet gets cleaned.
2. We Are Brutally Honest Because We Care We know that, at times, tact can be the only four-letter word that doesn’t describe us, but women need to rethink their reactions to male candor. Men lie and obfuscate with people they have no interest in. The art of BS—and indulging others with their BS—is how we get through the day. But with you, lucky you, we want to forget all that. We want to tell you why your mother bothers us and how you can solve the problem with your high-maintenance friend. In a relationship, honesty is a young man’s mistake because the longer a man feels punished for it, the more he begins to censor himself. And that’s when you really need to worry.
3. You Should Appreciate Our Reliability Similar to honesty, a good man demonstrates his commitment to you by showing up. So it’s more than a little irritating to hear about your fascination with the jerk who has mastered the art of illusion: He’s there, but not really. It’s a vicious cycle—the more men feel those guys get the benefits of your time and attention, the more incentive we have to become those guys. And that’s bad for both of you since more of those guys turn your illusion into our delusion.
4. Love Means Never Having to Be Attached at the Hip We acknowledge the importance of couple time. We’d even go so far as to say that, in the best relationships, love that is asserted each day deepens and extends. Lost in this, however, is the belief that time spent enriching oneself also enriches partnerships. In other words, going on a hiking weekend with the boys does not diminish the bond we share. Like women need the affirmation of their girl friends, guys need the companionship of other men. This kind of solo time will refresh us and we’ll come back with more for you.
5. We Respect You as Females—and Love What Makes You Women It is sad to say that equality in our times means adopting the worst of both sexes: Men get more sexualized and women can be cruder. And while no fair-minded guy wants women to return to the 1950s sitcom (although coming home to a roast chicken and a stiff drink ain’t bad as a fantasy), neither do we want the elimination of the feminine as a virtue. Don’t be ashamed to hold on to those things that make you different from us, like how you care about smelling nice or reminding us of empathy. That isn’t regressive; it’s just beautiful. To see the exception, read #6.
6. Be the Boss in the Bedroom Two words: Unleash yourself. Express your fantasies. Use your hands along with your…imagination. Show us who’s boss and give us good directions—you already know we don’t do well asking for them. Your explanations will heighten our intuition and your pleasure.
7. Our First Commitment Is to Ourselves One of the biggest complaints by women (for the second, read #8) is that men don’t commit. Right or wrong, men are raised to believe that a successful life hinges on self-fulfillment. Relationships, at first glance, seem to impinge on that. They make men nervous that the pursuit of happiness will become the path of missed opportunity. But men do come around to understand that true self-fulfillment depends on fulfilling another. What can you do in the meantime? Take a page from our script on this one and focus on your self-fulfillment, your own passions. This kind of healthy withdrawal will make pursuing you part of our happiness.
8. For Us, Seeing Is Believing Want to know why men like sports? Pure, measurable success. At the end of the game, no one can dispute the number of touchdown passes or home runs. An athlete works toward a goal and is rewarded with concrete proof of his effort. What is the irrefutable proof of a successful emotional life? Here, the data is less tangible. Men fear endeavors where success is vague because failure seems a likely result. In case you hadn’t noticed, we hate to fail. One way to take the failure out is to become his ally in those pursuits that bring him emotionally alive; his attempt at wholeness there will illuminate the great rewards of an emotional life elsewhere.
9. We May Lose Small Battles, but Always Remember the Wars We’ve Won How important is putting the toilet seat down if the yard is mowed each week? Does it matter that an item was forgotten at the store when he checked off the rest? If he let the kid go to his friend’s with a stained shirt but made sure to spend time on his science project, is there a point to mentioning it? Women should remember to give credit where credit is due.
10. Fathers Are Just as Important as Mothers It can seem, at times, that the world elevates the feminine over the masculine and that the lessons men can impart are outmoded or regarded as Neanderthal. But when a bully is picking on your son, your husband showing him how to throw a punch is not nonsensical. Or if your daughter has an athletic talent, his testosterone-fueled guidance may teach her more than just competitiveness. Honoring what men know based on their experiences is just as valuable to the young as the insights of women. Freely sharing his wisdom prevents imbalance, both in us and those we seek to help.
What Does Your Zodiac Sign Say About Your Love Life?
Leo (July 23-August 22)
Rawr! The sign of the lion likes to be noticed and usually is. Astrology.com describes Leos as enthusiastic people who love to be the center of attention. You likely have an easier time making the first move than the rest of your gal pals, and guys definitely notice your confidence. When you do land in a relationship, though, be sure not to let that self-assurance become overbearing; your flair for the dramatic can make lovers’ spats soap-opera-worthy. “Leos don’t mind a little drama in their relationships,” says Lynch.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
In her practice, Lynch has found that Virgos make the best mates. You don’t expect too much, which means your relationships are generally easygoing. You’re happy with the simple things in life, so men don’t necessarily need to pull out all the stops to win you over. You can also look at things logically and without emotion, which can be good when you get into a fight. The biggest dating obstacle Virgos face is that they’re notoriously shy, which can make snagging a guy in the first place a challenge.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
Libra ladies make great girlfriends and wives, partly because they love relationships so much. You, Libra girl, probably fall into the “serial monogamist” category and find the best cure for a broken heart to be a new romance. The downside? Sometimes you’re so committed to remaining in a relationship that you avoid direct confrontation, and your frustration may turn into passive-aggressiveness. “You might not say, ‘I’m mad at you for not calling,’” says Lynch. “You just might not pick up when your man calls for four days.”
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
“Scorpio is one of the hardest signs to approach,” says Lynch. “They don’t trust easily and are often suspicious of others’ agendas—they wonder what you want from them.” That kind of caution can make it tough for you to meet men and establish relationships, but once you do, you’re amazing at solving any issues that may come up. Scorpios like talking things through and probing deeply into issues. When you and your partner hit a rough patch, you make it your mission to get to the source of the problem so you can fix it.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
“Sag women tend to break more hearts than any because they won’t hesitate to run out the door,” says Lynch. She describes women born under the centaur as freedom-loving types who often having problems with commitment. You’ll most likely stay single until you can find an adventurous guy who gives you plenty of space to travel, explore and try new things.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Lynch puts it simply: “Capricorn, you better have something to impress them with.” You’re a no-nonsense kind of girl, and you’re not going to waste your time on just anyone. Your friends might call you picky, but you just know what you want and refuse to settle for less (though that does narrow the dating pool). That being said, you’re not about to bring on the drama, either. Astrology.com describes Capricorns as patient and says the goat sign won’t make waves, so you’re likely just fine with waiting for the right guy.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
You’re not one for wearing your heart on your sleeve, and while that works when you want to send off a mysterious vibe, it can also make you come off as a bit cold. “Aquarius can be extremely aloof even though they don’t mean to be,” says Lynch, adding that those born under the water bearer sign have “the capacity to run things through their heads without emotion.” This can go two ways: You’re great at solving problems with your man calmly and rationally, but you might sometimes seem unsympathetic.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
“Pisces has a reputation for being very humble, and they might be a little hard to connect with sometimes,” says Lynch. On the one hand, your humility is a plus: Your selflessness and love of helping others make you a great companion and easy to get along with. On the other, your good nature can be easy to take advantage of. Any cheating boyfriends in your past? You deserve better, so steer clear of guys who aren’t as good-hearted as you.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Hey, independent woman! You might find yourself perpetually single, but you’re usually OK with that. According to Lynch, it can be hard for an Aries to form a relationship because she’s so strong-willed. “Aries can live without a relationship,” she says. “They’re very independent. You don’t find them compromising that much.” Even when you do land a guy, it’s likely a little more Gossip Girl and a little less romantic bliss. Aries loves confrontation, which means plenty of drama.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
When you find a man, you hold on tight, literally. “It’s a very tactile, sensual sign, but it’s also very warm and engaging,” says Lynch. “Taurus women definitely want relationships, and they can get a little clingy.” This works if your man is touchy-feely too, but if not, be careful not to scare him away—the sign of the bull can get a bit jealous. On the plus side, that same quality will draw men to you in the first place. “People run to Taurus because they exude sensuality,” adds Lynch.
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
The good news: Gemini girls are super social and have an easy time chatting up the male population. The bad news: You can sometimes be exhausting. “Gemini love to analyze everything that happens,” says Lynch. “They love to talk about a conflict.” This tendency to analyze everything may mean you overthink things, which might be stressful for you and the man you’re seeing.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
Astrology.com calls Cancers maternal and emotional. You love to nurture others, so men enjoy being with you because they feel comfortable and taken care of. Cancers, however, have a tendency to take things personally—when they shouldn’t, says Lynch. So when your man raves about his mom’s lasagna, relax—it’s probably not a jab at yours (in fact, with your domestic skills, yours might even be better!). [Via]
If you have even one close friend in your life, you are blessed.
Who can explain what it means to have a friend? Someone who knows you. Someone who cares. Someone who listens, or reaches out a hand, or helps you rally from defeat. Someone who’s glad you dropped by. Someone who will stand by you. A welcoming smile across the room. A bear hug. Shared stories, shared laughter, shared hopes and dreams, shared life and shared loss. The world is a far safer, brighter place with your friend in it. What does it mean to have a friend? Simply everything. -Dan Zadra and Kobi Yamada
“Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon’s sparkling
So kiss me”—Sixpence None The Richer - Kiss Me
I’ll answer the rest within the next couple of days. I’m pretty sure I’ve posted more than enough. But from now on, I think it’s way better if y’all just ask me questions on my formspring.me because I don’t want to invade everyone’s dashboards with my questions! So, if you have a question, ask as much as you want on my formspring.me! Thank you and good night! Er, good morning! :) Xoxo
I really didn't mean to kick you out of the room, littemiss! I love you! <3
P.S. You're outfit was super adorable, looooooves it! Beautiful! <3333
P.S.S. The Golden said hi right when you guys left by the way, aha.
I hope you know who this is! Ahaahaha <3
LOL! I know! :) I love you, too!
HA! Of course I know who this is! Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks you!<3 I know, I heard her yell my name when I was running towards my car in the rain! Ahhahaha!
Thank goodness, I love how you answered that. Some actually freak out and become very defensive "TUMBLR ISN'T EVERYTHING YOU KNOW", when it's just an innocent question, geez.
Glad to hear you're enjoying life, love your tumblr. Peace.
Haha! Glad to know you liked my answer! I didn’t feel the need to get defensive. Like what you said, it’s just a question.
Where are you from? :D Do you like Asians? I started following you. I loved your posts. :D
California. Central Valley, to be more specific. Do I like Asians?! LOL. Yes, I do. I like everyone! :) Thank you! Oh, and to answer your other question: no, I don’t follow my followers. I have too many! But I do check some of them from time to time :).
Is it silly that i dream of my wedding day, i'm only 19, going to be 20 and completely madly in love with my best friend who ive been with for quite some time now.. since we were 17, but i dont think "engagement" is in his thoughts. and we dont or never have tlked about it.. advice? thoughts..etc
Aw, no! I don’t think so, at least! That’s sweet and I think perfectly normal. Do you want to be engaged anytime soon? Or plan to marry soon? If so, you should probably mention it to him if that’s what you want. He can’t read your mind or know what you’re dreaming about (and vice versa!) unless you two tell each other… :)
what tumblrs do you follow? or do you like and suggest following?
I follow about thirty Tumblrs. I don’t really check on anyone’s anymore, though. I just post quotes or pictures on here and then I’m out. I follow more on my personal Tumblr and I’m on that one more, anyway.