“Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It’s a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don’t have. It’s so simple—yet so hard for the human mind to comprehend.”—Anonymous
“You don’t have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future.”—Jane Green
“She can’t see the way your eyes light up when you smile. She’ll never notice how you stop and stare whenever she walks by. And you can’t see me wanting you the way you want her.”—Taylor Swift | Invisible
“Guys are like subway trains. Don’t run after them; another one is on its way.”
“If he says he isn’t ready for a relationship, believe him.”
“Marry someone you want to sit next to for the rest of your life.”
“My grandfather had some gems: ‘Don’t be with a stupid man just to be with any man.’ ‘A real man always takes care of his family.’ ‘You don’t want to be walked over, and you don’t want a man you can walk over, either.’ And my favorite: ‘Don’t be a fool, Michelle. You can be anything you want, but don’t be a fool.’”
“Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t laugh.”
“The guys who were nerdy in high school make the best husbands.”
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
“You can tell a lot about a guy by how he treats your cab driver.”
“If he likes you, you’ll know. If he doesn’t, you’ll be ‘confused.’”
“Respect yourself. I said to my ex, ‘I’m not going to make you my everything if I’m only your something.’”
“I used to be into bad boys but kept getting burned. Then I heard this: ‘Say no to the guys you usually say yes to, and yes to the ones you normally say no to.’ I did, and it totally worked. I have a great husband now.”
“Never marry a man who has no friends.”
“Never tattoo a guy’s name on your body!”
“Personal hygiene is part of the package.”
“It’s OK to show up at a guy’s house with a dozen roses and declare your undying affection. It’s OK to have too much to drink and call your ex 20 times and then to be mortally embarrassed when you realize your number must have shown up on his caller ID. It’s OK, because making a fool of yourself for love is ultimately about you, how much you have to give and the distances you will travel to keep your heart wide open when everything around you makes you feel like slamming it shut and soldering it closed.” [Via]
“I’m a member of that group of outsiders. I always knew I was different and for a long, long time. All I wanted was to be another face in the crowd… but in the end, it wasn’t possible. I guess it never was. So from now on, I’ll just concentrate on being who I really am. Some of you might not like that. But that’s not my problem anymore. I have to be who I really am.”—Roswell
“A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soul mate, the one you can tell your dreams to. He’ll smile at you, but he’ll never laugh at your heart. He’ll brush the hair out of your eyes. Send you flowers when you least expect it. He’ll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid $8 to see it. He’ll call to say goodnight or just cause he is thinking of you. He’ll look in your eyes and tell you, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world, and for the first time in your life, you’ll believe it.”—Unknown
“I know you don’t think of me. And you certainly would never picture us together, but probably peanut butter was just peanut butter before someone ever thought of pairing it up with jelly. And there was salt, but it started to taste better when there was pepper. And what’s the point of butter without bread? Anyway, by myself, I’m nothing special. But with you, I think I could be.”—Unknown
So let’s say that theoretically I really like you. And theoretically, even though it sounds moronically cliché and overused, you give me butterflies. And just for kicks, let’s add that, all in theory of course, you may be the one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. And hypothetically, my heart beats ten times faster when I see you. Do you think that you would supposedly, and in the most theoretical sense… feel the same?
Is He the One? 10 Signs to Tell If He's Mr. Right:
1. Your friends approve- You’ll know he’s the right guy for you if your friends feel the same way. If your man hasn’t earned your friends’ stamp of approval, he might as well be waving a big red flag.
2. He gets along with your family- Introducing someone to your family can be awkward and tense— we can thank Ben Stiller for his excellent portrayal of all the worst-case scenarios. However, if he does mesh with the fam and becomes an instant member of your Dad’s “circle of trust,” then you’ll know he’s a keeper.
3. He listens to you- Communication is the foundation to any good relationship. If you’re trying to build a life with a guy who doesn’t think that what you have to say is important, your relationship will inevitably come crashing down. You need a man who truly listens to you.
4. You share the same values- You may say “tomay-to” while he says “tomah-to,” but there is no need to call the whole thing off. Just be certain that you both agree on what matters most in life. Finding a man who shares your ideals will make for a smooth ride. 5. He’s the type of person you would be friends with- You should have the same standards in your love life as you do socially. If you’re dating a guy who you would never be friends with, you might not be a good fit long-term.
6. You trust him- Without trust, your relationship is doomed to fail. If you can honestly say that you trust your man, you may have just found Mr. Right.
7. He makes you feel special- We all know that new-relationship high a little too well, but those feelings tend to dwindle as the days and months progress. If your man is still able to give you butterflies well into the relationship, then you’ve hit the jackpot.
8. He talks about the future- In your search for Mr. Right, you have to remember that he is also looking for a Mrs. Right. If your significant other verbalizes his thoughts on your future together, then it’s likely that he’s also considering you to be that special someone.
9. You feel secure- A man who is financially unfit may not be a good life partner. If your significant other can’t even take care of himself, how will he be able to take care of others? While we don’t recommend gold digging your way to your next boyfriend, we do think it’s important to feel secure in your relationship and in your financial future together.
10. He loves you for you- Surprisingly, this part has to come from you, not him. If you aren’t being true to yourself in a relationship, then he isn’t falling for the real you. Although we all want to be seen as perfect, the facade will eventually crumble. Be yourself and if he still loves you, you know he’s here to stay.
“All my life I’ve felt like there was some part of me missing and I felt that everyone could tell. Like there was some hole in me and everyone could see through it, like I wasn’t finished or something.”—Boy Meets World
1. Why can’t we be friends? This sounds nice but in reality an ex does not make a true friend, especially immediately after the breakup.
2. I must have closure. Closure can be difficult to obtain no matter how many conversations one has. The best closure can come from resisting the urge for dialogue and moving on.
3. I just need to make sense of it all, and I just have one more thing to say before you go. Another version of closure and another reason to stay in contact when in reality this just gives your ex another opportunity to hurt you. Not fun.
4. I want to be available for reconciliation. Wanting to get back together is a fair feeling to have. Even if you do end up reconciling, the relationship will undoubtedly be different. It is still important to take some time without speaking in order to mourn the relationship and contemplate how you really feel.
5. I just need to give his stuff back. Do it quickly, in the first couple days. After that, use one of our many mail services.
6. I’m just so horny. And your ex is familiar because you know him or her (and it won’t increase your “number”). But again, this is just prolonging the inevitable and will keep you stuck in the past. Time to cut off the ex and find someone new (or maybe even just yourself) to get jiggy with.
7. We run in the same circles. If this is the case, you won’t be able to help running into your ex, but that does not mean you need to get in touch afterward. Keep your conversations polite, brief and away from anything that can bring up negative feelings from the past. Obviously easier said than done.
So while our natural reaction to a breakup may be to keep in touch, whatever the reason, in order to successfully move on, the No Contact rule is a good place to start. No matter how much we want to rationalize, the sooner we stop talking to our ex, the faster we’ll move on. [Via]
Celebs with places to go and an unapologetic urge to stand out have long reached for the flashy cocktail dress. You can too—choose one of the latest gleaming silver styles or any shade that flatters your skin tone. (FYI: A hint of pink looks good on almost everyone.) Just remember to keep the legs bare-ish and the shoes low-key to avoid OD’ing on glitz.
The Pencil Skirt
Sure, it’s your ever-faithful work go-to, but the pencil skirt is also one of the female bod’s BFFs. It traces the hips, hugs the booty and creates an hourglass waist—need we say more? Go knee-length for a classic feeling or shorter if you’re really feeling va-va-voom.
Especially in their highest heel form, they’re total man magnets thanks to their hot scarlet hue (seriously, everything called scarlet is hot—think Johansson and the sexiest color known to woman and man). Red heels take confidence to pull off, but there’s payoff in all the compliments you’ll get. One catch: Mix them with a non-red something unless you’re prepared to take on the monochromatic trend.
Were big sunnies actually invented to keep out the UV rays or to help celebs be a little more incognito? Either way, they lend a major dose of Hollywood star power to any gal who gets behind a pair—the bigger the better. And, yes, it’s OK even if your personal paparazzi and entourage consist of one best friend, combined. It’s quality not quantity, right?
To each her own little black dress! Whether your little black dress is sleek and minimal or has tons of detailing everywhere, there’s no denying it’s a key object in every woman’s closet. Dress it up with your strappy sandals, or dress it down with a cozy cardi. No matter where you’re going, you’ve got a fail-proof recipe for 365-days-a-year-chic.
The Trench Coat
Once a military uniform, now a staple for card-carrying fashionistas everywhere; if you don’t already have a great-looking trench, it’s worth splurging on the right coat. Our reasoning: Nobody’s looking at what’s underneath when you’ve got a perfect-fit, polished trench.
Long Silk Scarf
Grace Kelly and her old-Hollywood pals made tossing a scarf over one shoulder look as cool as the icy diamonds they had dangling from ears and wrists. Today, the cool kids like Sienna Miller are pulling out retro-feeling silk scarves, and it looks just as good as it did the first time around.
Yes, they’re denim, but in no way do skinny jeans fall into the schlumpy-weekend-clothing category. In super-dark washes and narrow cuts, they’re totally dress-code-appropriate, day or night. Bonus: They make a great after-eight alternative to black pants or a skirt.
You don’t need tons of money to find fancy-looking chandelier earrings to add the finishing touch of glitz to whatever you’re wearing tonight. As with sunglasses, go as supersize and attention-grabbing as you feel comfortable with.
A Cocktail Ring
Even if it’s 100 percent fake (or “faux” if you want to adopt an equally glamorous Frenchy accent), a little light-catching bling makes a big statement. Word to the wise: If you’re going to wear a gobstopper-size cocktail ring, make sure your mani is up to snuff since everyone will be jealously eyeing your well-accessorized fingers. [Via]
Here’s the standard line on men: We’re simple, straightforward, limited—and usually perfectly happy to leave it there. Why? Because it keeps your expectations of us low. But here’s the single biggest thing women don’t get about men: Masculinity is a complicated performance we agree to in order to be seen as men. Unfortunately, that performance is more designed to conceal than reveal us. For instance, it’s easier and more “masculine” for us to talk about the great sex we had rather than describe the great conversation afterward. So, a woman ends up knowing the male script, but not the man. Breaking character, then, I give you (in random order) 10 things he wishes you knew about him.
1. Even Men Like Compliments Every Once in a While Real guys, or so the story goes, don’t need praise. Especially not about girlish things, like if those jeans show off our assets. But the truth is, men enjoy a little well-intentioned objectification. A squeeze of the biceps and a lingering stare when we reach for the top shelf—these remind us of what attracted you to us and appeal to our Darwinian sense of selectivity (i.e., what keeps you choosing us over the other monkeys). It also makes it OK, even desirable, to send a little objectification your way, too. And just to be clear, the praise doesn’t need to be physical. In fact, it’s important that women commend those things masculinity tends to belittle, like if we’re good cooks or get passionate about foreign films. Tell us, too, when we’ve been a good father, a caring son or a helpful husband. Watch how much faster the toilet gets cleaned.
2. We Are Brutally Honest Because We Care We know that, at times, tact can be the only four-letter word that doesn’t describe us, but women need to rethink their reactions to male candor. Men lie and obfuscate with people they have no interest in. The art of BS—and indulging others with their BS—is how we get through the day. But with you, lucky you, we want to forget all that. We want to tell you why your mother bothers us and how you can solve the problem with your high-maintenance friend. In a relationship, honesty is a young man’s mistake because the longer a man feels punished for it, the more he begins to censor himself. And that’s when you really need to worry.
3. You Should Appreciate Our Reliability Similar to honesty, a good man demonstrates his commitment to you by showing up. So it’s more than a little irritating to hear about your fascination with the jerk who has mastered the art of illusion: He’s there, but not really. It’s a vicious cycle—the more men feel those guys get the benefits of your time and attention, the more incentive we have to become those guys. And that’s bad for both of you since more of those guys turn your illusion into our delusion.
4. Love Means Never Having to Be Attached at the Hip We acknowledge the importance of couple time. We’d even go so far as to say that, in the best relationships, love that is asserted each day deepens and extends. Lost in this, however, is the belief that time spent enriching oneself also enriches partnerships. In other words, going on a hiking weekend with the boys does not diminish the bond we share. Like women need the affirmation of their girl friends, guys need the companionship of other men. This kind of solo time will refresh us and we’ll come back with more for you.
5. We Respect You as Females—and Love What Makes You Women It is sad to say that equality in our times means adopting the worst of both sexes: Men get more sexualized and women can be cruder. And while no fair-minded guy wants women to return to the 1950s sitcom (although coming home to a roast chicken and a stiff drink ain’t bad as a fantasy), neither do we want the elimination of the feminine as a virtue. Don’t be ashamed to hold on to those things that make you different from us, like how you care about smelling nice or reminding us of empathy. That isn’t regressive; it’s just beautiful. To see the exception, read #6.
6. Be the Boss in the Bedroom Two words: Unleash yourself. Express your fantasies. Use your hands along with your…imagination. Show us who’s boss and give us good directions—you already know we don’t do well asking for them. Your explanations will heighten our intuition and your pleasure.
7. Our First Commitment Is to Ourselves One of the biggest complaints by women (for the second, read #8) is that men don’t commit. Right or wrong, men are raised to believe that a successful life hinges on self-fulfillment. Relationships, at first glance, seem to impinge on that. They make men nervous that the pursuit of happiness will become the path of missed opportunity. But men do come around to understand that true self-fulfillment depends on fulfilling another. What can you do in the meantime? Take a page from our script on this one and focus on your self-fulfillment, your own passions. This kind of healthy withdrawal will make pursuing you part of our happiness.
8. For Us, Seeing Is Believing Want to know why men like sports? Pure, measurable success. At the end of the game, no one can dispute the number of touchdown passes or home runs. An athlete works toward a goal and is rewarded with concrete proof of his effort. What is the irrefutable proof of a successful emotional life? Here, the data is less tangible. Men fear endeavors where success is vague because failure seems a likely result. In case you hadn’t noticed, we hate to fail. One way to take the failure out is to become his ally in those pursuits that bring him emotionally alive; his attempt at wholeness there will illuminate the great rewards of an emotional life elsewhere.
9. We May Lose Small Battles, but Always Remember the Wars We’ve Won How important is putting the toilet seat down if the yard is mowed each week? Does it matter that an item was forgotten at the store when he checked off the rest? If he let the kid go to his friend’s with a stained shirt but made sure to spend time on his science project, is there a point to mentioning it? Women should remember to give credit where credit is due.
10. Fathers Are Just as Important as Mothers It can seem, at times, that the world elevates the feminine over the masculine and that the lessons men can impart are outmoded or regarded as Neanderthal. But when a bully is picking on your son, your husband showing him how to throw a punch is not nonsensical. Or if your daughter has an athletic talent, his testosterone-fueled guidance may teach her more than just competitiveness. Honoring what men know based on their experiences is just as valuable to the young as the insights of women. Freely sharing his wisdom prevents imbalance, both in us and those we seek to help.